Young, male, with money to spend, and not having any reason to budget since the military pays for food and housing.
"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time ..."
(Yes, I admit to having uttered that line at least once while I was in. I never tried to hide the fact that I made E-4 THREE TIMES, and left as an E-5.)
You did include the drunken Marine meet MP story, so I want to point out that no good story ever started with too much tofu.
I had a soldier, who had somehow become an NCO, who would lead with a sentence like, “I was just thinking about __________, and it occurred to me…” This was my cue that it was too late. She had been thinking, which is like saying the Soldiers were toying with the VX rounds or we wanted to know why were weren’t allowed to remove the safety cover.
Whatever followed from her was invariably nothing you’d ever want to hear about. If you were lucky, it was merely blathering or sanity-scarring observations. If you were not lucky, you would be picking up the fragments of whatever she had pooch-screwed.
Other indicators and warnings include:
I saw this cool thing on the internet (or on TV, if you go back far enough)… and you just decided that it must have been legit.
My buddy from Basic told me how to… Stop right there. Your buddy from Basic was dumber than a bag of rocks. You said so yourself.
So, I saw that thing/condition/warning, but I didn’t think… You damn right. In fact, that went without saying, but as soon as you said it, I knew the motor pool was on fire or there would be a call from the First Sergeant.
No one told me I had to do X… No one tells you each time you sh*t to wipe your azz before you pull up your pants, and yet you somehow manage to make that work for you.
One of my XO’s ended quarters in all liberty ports with “ go out and have fun, leave memories and not evidence”. As deck department head,I can tell you deck force never listened. Can’t think of a liberty port where at least one returned in custody of shore patrol or local law enforcement
After getting a few of those 0300 calls, I had threatened the wrath on whomsoever was the source of the next one.
Wouldn’t you know it, they tried me the very next Saturday. The desk sergeant at the MP Station knew something was up when I showed up with four road-guard vests and flashlights to pick up that days crop…he marched them out front in the grass, and we did PT until they had all puked at least once. Then I had them put on the vests and we proceeded to double-time it the 4 miles back to the barracks. Whenever someone had to puke, we ran circles around them until they finished, then headed out again. We got back to the barracks about 0400, and I ran them up and down every hallway in the building, singing cadence…until I was pretty sure we had awakened the sleeping dead. To say that that days company run was memorable, is putting it mildly.
Heck, I even got a high-five from the post CSM when he heard about that mornings events through the grapevine…
I prevented a few major incidents by stubborn drunks with a timely snip of a valve stem. (Grin) Dirty, but highly effective.
Usually, all it took was "I'm sober. I'll drive." The local dive bars knew me well, and gave me all the free cokes I could swill. Tipped bargirls instead. "What? You no pay! You bring all you drunk friends! "
You hear "Shit Happens" and might think of random occurrences in the normal course of things. You hear "Stupid Happens" and you know the causal agent is making a bad choice when your amygdala and its cousin the hindbrain know better. If your ASVAB got you in you should know better. I have found the civilian world far more scary. And besides, without FUBAR's why would they need so many senior NCO's?
Young, male, with money to spend, and not having any reason to budget since the military pays for food and housing.
"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time ..."
(Yes, I admit to having uttered that line at least once while I was in. I never tried to hide the fact that I made E-4 THREE TIMES, and left as an E-5.)
Ouch!
E-4 Mafia Hat Trick
You did include the drunken Marine meet MP story, so I want to point out that no good story ever started with too much tofu.
I had a soldier, who had somehow become an NCO, who would lead with a sentence like, “I was just thinking about __________, and it occurred to me…” This was my cue that it was too late. She had been thinking, which is like saying the Soldiers were toying with the VX rounds or we wanted to know why were weren’t allowed to remove the safety cover.
Whatever followed from her was invariably nothing you’d ever want to hear about. If you were lucky, it was merely blathering or sanity-scarring observations. If you were not lucky, you would be picking up the fragments of whatever she had pooch-screwed.
Other indicators and warnings include:
I saw this cool thing on the internet (or on TV, if you go back far enough)… and you just decided that it must have been legit.
My buddy from Basic told me how to… Stop right there. Your buddy from Basic was dumber than a bag of rocks. You said so yourself.
So, I saw that thing/condition/warning, but I didn’t think… You damn right. In fact, that went without saying, but as soon as you said it, I knew the motor pool was on fire or there would be a call from the First Sergeant.
No one told me I had to do X… No one tells you each time you sh*t to wipe your azz before you pull up your pants, and yet you somehow manage to make that work for you.
One of my XO’s ended quarters in all liberty ports with “ go out and have fun, leave memories and not evidence”. As deck department head,I can tell you deck force never listened. Can’t think of a liberty port where at least one returned in custody of shore patrol or local law enforcement
R&R is often followed by wReckage & recriminations.
After getting a few of those 0300 calls, I had threatened the wrath on whomsoever was the source of the next one.
Wouldn’t you know it, they tried me the very next Saturday. The desk sergeant at the MP Station knew something was up when I showed up with four road-guard vests and flashlights to pick up that days crop…he marched them out front in the grass, and we did PT until they had all puked at least once. Then I had them put on the vests and we proceeded to double-time it the 4 miles back to the barracks. Whenever someone had to puke, we ran circles around them until they finished, then headed out again. We got back to the barracks about 0400, and I ran them up and down every hallway in the building, singing cadence…until I was pretty sure we had awakened the sleeping dead. To say that that days company run was memorable, is putting it mildly.
Heck, I even got a high-five from the post CSM when he heard about that mornings events through the grapevine…
This will make your eye twitch. Upon opening the arms room connex at home station, observe row on row of rusted Mk 19s and .50 Cals….
That's enough to make the average infantryman have a stroke!
Suddenly, I have a near migraine just reading that.
One of my buddies from way back when would drink an entire bottle of Jack in about 45 minutes, and then we'd go out drinking.
I have always questioned the wisdom of "pre-flighting."
Re-stacked, with compliments to the author!
I prevented a few major incidents by stubborn drunks with a timely snip of a valve stem. (Grin) Dirty, but highly effective.
Usually, all it took was "I'm sober. I'll drive." The local dive bars knew me well, and gave me all the free cokes I could swill. Tipped bargirls instead. "What? You no pay! You bring all you drunk friends! "
Lol. Good times.
You hear "Shit Happens" and might think of random occurrences in the normal course of things. You hear "Stupid Happens" and you know the causal agent is making a bad choice when your amygdala and its cousin the hindbrain know better. If your ASVAB got you in you should know better. I have found the civilian world far more scary. And besides, without FUBAR's why would they need so many senior NCO's?