Rohan's Here!

A bit of theatre because it's fun.

After I retired, I went back to school (thankyou GI Bill!). Somehow, I was immediately in orbit of the theatre department and everything that implies. One of the first productions I auditioned for was Newsies the Musical. This of itself deserves its own article, but today we’ll just have a little fun.

There’s a scene in the show where the Brooklyn Newsies arrive to support their pals who’ve just had their butts kicked by Pulitzer’s cronies.

As we were rehearsing the scene it dawned on me: “This is the Rohirrim arriving on the Pelennor Fields!”

With that in mind, I offer you a parody song, sung to the tune of “Brooklyn’s Here.”

ROHAN’S HERE

Gondor needs our help today! (Gondor needs our help today!)

Tell them Rohan’s on its way! (Tell them Rohan’s on its way!)

We are (riders)

We’re of (Rohan)

We are Riders (of Rohan!)

The beacons are lit and Gondor is hurtin’

Facing total disaster for certain

That’s our cue lads, it’s time to come runnin’

Hey Minas Tirith, the calvalry’s comin’!

Have no fear! (You know we got your back from way back!)

Rohan’s here! (We’ll bet your payback ridin’ horse-back!)

We’re the Rohirrim, Horselords of the Riddermark

Sound the horns, fell deeds awake here!

Time to stand against the forces of Sauron

Loud and clear — Rohan’s here!

Kingdom that gave me birth

Most noble of Middle-Earth

Orcs paid us a visit if ya know what we mean

And when they did (when they did)

We crushed them at Helms Deep!

Fire and slaughter Riders of Rohan

Ere the sun rises, ride now for Gondor

Gates ‘re broke, but if they think we’re broken

Loud and clear

The Folde is here!

East-mark’s here!

West-mark’s here!

Theoden’s here!

So’s the Shire!

Loud and clear

Rohan’s here!