If it this had happened to me, I can assure you the perpetrator would have been found somewhere in the woods, stripped bare, coated with honey and duck taped to a tree near an anthill. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
"I will not pay you back now. I am not telling you how I will pay you back for this. But know and understand that I will have my revenge thrice over for this. Sleep well."
The trick is, within a month or three, you get the guy with a couple nasty pranks...
And for the rest of the time you are on the same station together you just smile at him whenever you see each other, so that he lives in fear.
Just because you CAN do something, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD do something (or other words to that effect). There are pranks, and then there’s overkill. Unless it’s Overkill, my favorite (anti)superhero, which is fine by me.
Quarters was a morning ritual aboard ship. On our frigate the zeroes would assemble on the helo deck to listen to the XO tells us what we were going to do that day so that we could tell our troops what the XO and we wanted done that day. Then, of course, the Chief would interpret all that for his men. Morning quarters was a sacred ritual. I was a CWO2 then. On my duty night I sneaked into a good friend's stateroom and borrowed one of his boondockers and spit-shined the begebbus out of it until it shone like a mirror. Then I put it back. Mike was an LDO LTjg at the time, a former Chief Gas Turbine Technician. He was a snipe (an engineer) so he did grubby work. I figured shining one of shoes was a kindly favor. Next morning at quarters, I mentioned to Mike, "Hey, Mike, nice shoeshine. Kinda half-assed but it's a good first step". The XO laughed loudest. About a week later we were on the helo deck, assembled to listen to the XO. People were chuckling. Had no idea what was funny. Then the XO pointed at me and said, "Mister Flowers, is that a regulation device on your garrison cap?". I thought so but had to check. There was a Mickey Mouse pin where my blue & gold butter bar should have been. I knew it was Mike. I called us even.
Another time karma caught up with me at morning quarters. Standing out there on the helo deck, all attentive, taking notes of what the XO was saying...being all dutiful and stuff, a seagull pooped on me. It was a glancing blow that hit the front of my chest and left a green-white streak across my chest and warfare insignia. I got not an ounce of sympathy from my shipmates. I stll had 3+ years left on that sea tour. People remember the most insignificant things.
\NSFW\ Our Frigate was out on a 2 week op with our full SELRES Reserve crew onboard. We had our chaplain aboard too. He was a wonderful man, a former retired enlisted man who had gone to divinity school and had been ordained a Baptist minister, then got a commission in the Navy Chaplain Corps. The chaplain always asked for 2 pieces of toast as a side for breakfast in the wardroom so that he could make himself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. 2 of our Reserve LT's asked the messcook for a new jar of peanut butter and proceeded to carve a museum-quality sculpture of the female genitalia inside the jar. The chaplain joined us for breakfast. Everyone at the table was giving him the side eye. He asked for a side of toast with his pancakes and scrambled eggs. His eyes went wide when he opened the peanut butter jar. He resealed the jar quickly but said nothing. Nobody laughed...not until later. We all liked this guy, and he was a good chaplain. We never talked about that in front of him. There are no secrets on a ship. The whole crew knew about it. I think it benefited his rep, the way he handled it. There might just be lines that do not need to be crossed. \NSFW\
As a kid I sat under a Baptist minister who also chaplained for the local sheriff's department. On one occasion, I heard, he'd been out with his LEO flock for some duty or another and was turning a wrench under the hood of someone's car when his tool slipped and bashed his thumb. He uttered, and quote as I was told it: "Something *ought* to be said!"
If only old school Olongapo and Pattaya Beach had the modern ubiquitous security cameras. Full audio/video of 8,000 Squids and Jarheads in port for "Liberty".
Few organizations have highly organized assigned "Drunk Watch" duty for their employees, where a giant dining area is set up with cots on the floor to let all the alcohol poisoned crew sleep it off after days of drinking.
Wisely so, and out of an abundance of safety, given how many times they'd found someone in their berthing rack drowned in their own vomit.
Ahhh, the good 'ol days aboard ship. I can smell it now.
I'm in awe on so many levels at the skunk story. However I second the prior stated response here that nudity, duck tape, honey and a tree near fire ants would be considered appropriate payback. Maybe 8 or nine colors of permanent markers used on all non showing parts of his body if he survived to illustrate artistic creativity in commenting on his intelligence and any other thing that would embarrass him and be funny to me. I only mention not doing his neck, face and hands as i'm not sure that would have been considered defacing government property. Well if done right no one could prove it was you that did it. bag over head from behind..
kinda like a few blanket parties in my barracks I heard about after the fact, everyone knew who did it but no one could prove who did it.
Hey, Marines are not stupid but some of us are dumb…See?
Throwing an angry skunk into the barracks...I'm just a cake-eating civilian, but I'm pretty sure that's justifiable homicide territory right there.
If it this had happened to me, I can assure you the perpetrator would have been found somewhere in the woods, stripped bare, coated with honey and duck taped to a tree near an anthill. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
"I will not pay you back now. I am not telling you how I will pay you back for this. But know and understand that I will have my revenge thrice over for this. Sleep well."
The trick is, within a month or three, you get the guy with a couple nasty pranks...
And for the rest of the time you are on the same station together you just smile at him whenever you see each other, so that he lives in fear.
Lonely 20-year-old soldiers/sailors/Marines and strippers... I suspect that was an issue for the Sumerian army as well.
Gordon
Just because you CAN do something, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD do something (or other words to that effect). There are pranks, and then there’s overkill. Unless it’s Overkill, my favorite (anti)superhero, which is fine by me.
Quarters was a morning ritual aboard ship. On our frigate the zeroes would assemble on the helo deck to listen to the XO tells us what we were going to do that day so that we could tell our troops what the XO and we wanted done that day. Then, of course, the Chief would interpret all that for his men. Morning quarters was a sacred ritual. I was a CWO2 then. On my duty night I sneaked into a good friend's stateroom and borrowed one of his boondockers and spit-shined the begebbus out of it until it shone like a mirror. Then I put it back. Mike was an LDO LTjg at the time, a former Chief Gas Turbine Technician. He was a snipe (an engineer) so he did grubby work. I figured shining one of shoes was a kindly favor. Next morning at quarters, I mentioned to Mike, "Hey, Mike, nice shoeshine. Kinda half-assed but it's a good first step". The XO laughed loudest. About a week later we were on the helo deck, assembled to listen to the XO. People were chuckling. Had no idea what was funny. Then the XO pointed at me and said, "Mister Flowers, is that a regulation device on your garrison cap?". I thought so but had to check. There was a Mickey Mouse pin where my blue & gold butter bar should have been. I knew it was Mike. I called us even.
Another time karma caught up with me at morning quarters. Standing out there on the helo deck, all attentive, taking notes of what the XO was saying...being all dutiful and stuff, a seagull pooped on me. It was a glancing blow that hit the front of my chest and left a green-white streak across my chest and warfare insignia. I got not an ounce of sympathy from my shipmates. I stll had 3+ years left on that sea tour. People remember the most insignificant things.
\NSFW\ Our Frigate was out on a 2 week op with our full SELRES Reserve crew onboard. We had our chaplain aboard too. He was a wonderful man, a former retired enlisted man who had gone to divinity school and had been ordained a Baptist minister, then got a commission in the Navy Chaplain Corps. The chaplain always asked for 2 pieces of toast as a side for breakfast in the wardroom so that he could make himself a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. 2 of our Reserve LT's asked the messcook for a new jar of peanut butter and proceeded to carve a museum-quality sculpture of the female genitalia inside the jar. The chaplain joined us for breakfast. Everyone at the table was giving him the side eye. He asked for a side of toast with his pancakes and scrambled eggs. His eyes went wide when he opened the peanut butter jar. He resealed the jar quickly but said nothing. Nobody laughed...not until later. We all liked this guy, and he was a good chaplain. We never talked about that in front of him. There are no secrets on a ship. The whole crew knew about it. I think it benefited his rep, the way he handled it. There might just be lines that do not need to be crossed. \NSFW\
As a kid I sat under a Baptist minister who also chaplained for the local sheriff's department. On one occasion, I heard, he'd been out with his LEO flock for some duty or another and was turning a wrench under the hood of someone's car when his tool slipped and bashed his thumb. He uttered, and quote as I was told it: "Something *ought* to be said!"
If only old school Olongapo and Pattaya Beach had the modern ubiquitous security cameras. Full audio/video of 8,000 Squids and Jarheads in port for "Liberty".
Few organizations have highly organized assigned "Drunk Watch" duty for their employees, where a giant dining area is set up with cots on the floor to let all the alcohol poisoned crew sleep it off after days of drinking.
Wisely so, and out of an abundance of safety, given how many times they'd found someone in their berthing rack drowned in their own vomit.
Ahhh, the good 'ol days aboard ship. I can smell it now.
I'm in awe on so many levels at the skunk story. However I second the prior stated response here that nudity, duck tape, honey and a tree near fire ants would be considered appropriate payback. Maybe 8 or nine colors of permanent markers used on all non showing parts of his body if he survived to illustrate artistic creativity in commenting on his intelligence and any other thing that would embarrass him and be funny to me. I only mention not doing his neck, face and hands as i'm not sure that would have been considered defacing government property. Well if done right no one could prove it was you that did it. bag over head from behind..
kinda like a few blanket parties in my barracks I heard about after the fact, everyone knew who did it but no one could prove who did it.
Who the fuck is Buttons. It is and always has been Candy! Rofl
Hehe
Anvil/ball bearing
(snicker)