Notes From The Front, October 2007

All Hallows Eve Edition

Kharmah, Iraq, October 2007

October was a good month for us in Kharmah. It marked the last time we endured a mortar attack. Up until then, mortars were a regular threat. One of our comm ninjas, a PFC, with the aid of a drone and an artillery battery, set up conditions for us to capture a 120mm mortar. Normally the words, PFC, drone, and artillery battery used in the same sentence are enough to send shivers up my spine. In this case everything worked out great, unless you were an insurgent mortar-man.

Considering the season of All Hallows Eve I am reminded of the horrors endured at OP Omar on my first deployment as a company 1stSgt.

Going into the month of October the temperature had thankfully stared dropping. Which meant instead of it being 120 degrees Fahrenheit, it remained a mere 105. Cases of spontaneous combustion were less frequent and the weather kept to a reasonably low broil. Iraq being the kind of place it was we didn’t expect a comfortable transition into winter but instead theorized the temp would suddenly drop out the bottom and paralyze us where we stood.

At least the cooler weather cut down on the various flesh devouring insects inhabiting our small slice of the Middle Evil. Some of you may be familiar with the humming bird sized mosquitoes found in the Carolinas or in the jungles of Southeast Asia. At OP Omar there thrived a colony of invasive little beasts composed entirely of wings and teeth. They were so insidious you didn’t even realize you’d been bitten until you looked down and noticed your arm was missing.

The web site update I wrote for October was also the first time I referred to myself as “America’s 1stSgt.”

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One month in Iraq. Two months in Iraq. Three! Three months in Iraq!! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! [Queue thunder and lightning]

Friends and family of Kilo 3/3, welcome to the special Halloween edition of Kilo Joe, real American heroes. This month, your last and only source of all American ruggedness celebrates All Hallows Eve with a costume party! Unfortunately, we all dressed up as combat Marines. There were some guys who came dressed as insurgents but I guess they felt a little unwelcome and decided to leave. I have no idea what would give them that impression.

As we crept ominously through the month of October strange and unsettling things began to occur around our area of operations. Sightings of the elusive Chupa Cabra increased. I’m not kidding either. Our air guys claim to have spotted this creature skulking through the streets of Kharmah. No really! What was initially reported as an attack by flesh eating zombies turned out to be a squad of Marines getting up early to go stand post. What a bummer, nothing like a good early morning zombie brawl to kick the day off right. There were a number of reports of the wolfman stalking the FOB but once the Company XO put his shirt back on the villagers took their pitchforks home without incident.

This month also marked the founding of the Kilo Gentlemen’s Club. This exclusive association sponsors a number of activities for men of distinguished taste in an effort to cultivate a more refined atmosphere around the FOB. These include mustache grooming, cigar smoking, and Chupa Cabra catch and release programs.

Due to the efforts of your Marines, schools in our neighborhood have begun to reopen much to the horror of the local children and the delight of their parents. We have given out all kinds of school supplies, toys, and enough candy to keep Iraqi dentists employed for years. Thanks to the conduct of our men, the local people enjoy a measure of security they have not had in a long while. Rest assured that Company K continues to give a first rate performance. They are doing good things out here. They are winning.

Semper Fidelis,

1stSgt Michael S. Burke
America’s 1stSgt

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