MARSCON After Action Report
"Holy $#@! Larry Correia just bought us breakfast!" – Intern Steve, MARSCON 2024.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend MARSCON in Norfolk, VA. Bottom line up front, it was a blast! You should go!
For some context of what follows, understand that I am no shrinking violet. If you've been following my missives here, you know that I am a retired Marine Corps Sergeant Major. According to Jonna of Raconteur Press, my comportment widely broadcasts this fact. I've led Marines in and out of combat for twenty-six years, so words like "quiet" and "shy" aren't usually used to describe me.
HOWEVER, when it comes to this writing gig, I am such the new kid in school. I am the noobiest of the noobs. Rubbing shoulders with so many science fiction notables at MARSCON was like undergoing electroshock therapy.
Thursday
For me, the con started on Thursday. I met up with my buddy Nick Nethery at the hotel. Nick is an old friend and fellow Duffel Blog contributor, who will be henceforth referred to by his current title, Intern Steve of Raconteur Press.
We linked up with Lawdog as well as Jonna and Kortnee, two of the Three Moms of the Apocalypse. Fellow Raconteur Press author, Wally Waltner, also joined us and we proceeded to the nearby Mexican restaurant. The discussion around the table focused on funny stories concerning the malfeasance and delinquency of young Marines and soldiers in the military. Hanging out with people whose company you enjoy is pretty much the reason to go to an event like this in the first place. It was an excellent primer for the weekend.
Friday
That morning the Raconteur folks met up at their hotel lobby for coffee and other continental libations. Raucous storytelling continued from the night before causing the uninitiated to flee in terror at our dark humor. Some folks just can't stand to be in the same room with unwashed heathens and we heathens tend to be ok with that. Besides, more coffee and pastries for us!
The first notable event I recall from Friday was the gatekeeping panel moderated by Marisa Wolf. Monster Hunter International author, Larry Correia, was also in attendance. The key moment for me, though, was seeing Dr. Ben Yalow introduce himself as someone who had "attended a few cons." The rest of the panel nearly lost its collective mind at this gross understatement.
For the uninitiated, like me, Ben Yalow is a walking repository of the history of science fiction. He knows where all the bodies are buried because he was there. The man is a Twenty-first Century Library of Alexandria and someone needs to download everything he knows soonest. It was fascinating to hear the ambient noise in the room drop when he spoke, because whenever he opened his mouth, everyone else shut up. If you genuflected in the presence of Ben Yalow, he might think you were crazy, but you wouldn't be wrong.
Later, I was introduced to the concept of being "at the bar." This primarily consists of taking a seat, shutting up, and listening. Good advice as it turns out.
At one point I had C.V. Walter chatting away on one side of me, and Rob Hampson, Larry Correia, and Jason Cordova in deep discussion on the other side. My head nearly spun off trying to pay attention to all of them at once.
There were other notables I was eager to meet, but I am a great believer in tactical patience. The opportunity to meet everyone I wanted to would present themselves. Besides, I really didn't want to be the guy who ran up to someone I admired and say, "Hi! I think you're really cool!" Then stand there in dumb silence hoping the other person would carry on the conversation because I had now run out of coherent things to say. Dude, I'd rather get shot at by terrorists.
That night the Raconteur Press crew rallied at Nando's for dinner. We were joined by Ben Yalow, Maria Fontaine, and Jack Wylder of Writer Dojo fame. The chicken was delicious and the company was excellent.
One notable event surrounded our transportation. Wally was piloting a land yacht in a strange town while also attempting to land navigate with the vehicle's GPS. Much like a young lieutenant, land navigation is not Wally's thing. We packed eight people into the vehicle and took an impromptu tour of Virginia Beach at night, mostly with U-turns.
There were some interesting panels taking place late in the night, but I was determined not to be up that late. This is funny considering being "at the bar" turned into hanging out and talking with people well past midnight anyway. It also turned out to be fortuitous.
A young man named Brandon had attended the con that day and was chatting with Larry and Jack. Brandon is a hopeful writer finishing up his master's degree in English Lit and Creative Writing. Noting this, Jack smoothly introduced him to Kortnee. She chatted with him until he mentioned that getting good feedback from his fellow students was a chore and that they were all being too nice in their critiques.
My introduction to Brandon began when Kortnee, with a very broad smile, escorted him over to me, Intern Steve, and Sam Robb. All of us are members of a writing group known as the Alpha Mercs. One of the definitive traits of the Mercs is that we won't call your baby ugly, but we will point out you have a handsome monkey on your hands.
Oddly enough, Brandon had no intention of coming back to the con on Saturday. We were able to convince him otherwise. Meeting cool people and making connections, this is why you go to cons.
Saturday
Rounds of coffee at the hotel turned into standard morning fare for the con. This enabled us to assemble a proper crew to fill up the land yacht before heading off to breakfast.
On the way back, I requested that this time Wally take us directly back to the hotel instead of circumnavigating the entire state of Virginia like the night before. Some minutes later, Wally reported his failure to meet this simple objective.
"I'm sorry, Sergeant Major. I regret to inform you that I have failed to meet the expectations of this evolution."
A great many hilarious remarks followed this, all of it at Wally's expense. The only one that will be remembered though, is the explosive use of Wally's first swear word: "Oh, #@&! all y’all!" And there was great laughter and wetting of pants.
As a side note, it should be pointed out that Wally is someone who does not get nearly enough credit for being the awesome person that he is. I salute you, my friend!
I got to catch the Baen Roadshow that afternoon. For me, the highlight was Marisa Wolf pitching her new book, Beyond Enemies. She explained that the characters of Talinn and Bee are an integrated operator and tank. At some point they realize the war they are fighting wasn't what they thought it was. "They have to decide whether to uphold the status quo, or blow shit up." SOLD!
Later, I excitedly told Marisa how much I liked her pitch and that the storyline really resonated with me. I can't wait for her book to come out. I also failed to actually introduce myself to her by name and am now questioning the wisdom of tactical patience.
Saturday was also contract day for Raconteur Press. In this case, contracts for Giant Freakin’ Robots went out. Kortnee had been teasing me about my submission for this anthology all weekend. It took everything in my power not to break down and simply ask, "DID I MAKE IT IN?" What's worse is I knew she would tease me about it. Some days you just have to grab your box of straws and suck it up.
I was told that Jonna and Kortnee were looking for me. It was officially day two of the con and I was already smoke-checked. I stumbled over to where they were and sat obediently. Jonna immediately slapped a contract in front of me for Giant Freakin' Robots. I sagged in my seat, "You guys are dicks. I love you."
That evening we had dinner with Jack Wylder and Larry Correia. I got to sit next to Larry's wife, Bridget. She is totally not into the cool things we nerds are, and I appreciate her tolerance of our clamoring about him for the weekend as Guest of Honor. She is fine lady of great patience.
Throughout the meal Lawdog pushed his food around the plate as he questioned its integrity.
"Is that a pineapple?"
"Is this a carrot?"
"What is that? Cauliflower?"
"It's still a carrot, Lawdog."
Larry was very gracious and talkative at dinner. Intern Steve and I were certain he would never remember us. This would take a fun turn later.
We continued our vigil “at the bar.” Intern Steve and I may have attended a few panels, but mostly I remember hanging out and meeting interesting people.
Jonna announced we were all going upstairs. Our entourage, with Brandon back and now in tow, piled on to the elevator. We found ourselves in Rob Hampson's suite. Rob was holding court on the couch, while David Weber was telling stories around a table.
Intern Steve shoved aside two old ladies and a child in order to take a seat across from Weber (ok, he didn't really, but if there were old ladies and kids in the room it would have been much more dangerous for them). The rest of us took places around the room to take it all in.
Sam Robb couldn't believe he was in the same room with Rob Hampson and said as much. Jonna looked at him, "You know that's David Weber over there in the corner, right?" At that point Sam's head exploded in a shower of brains and teeth. Brandon wisely remained quiet and invisible.
Sunday
That morning I walked with Lizz Yarbrough to the hotel restaurant to get coffee as we waited for the rest of the gang to assemble for the final day. I saw Ben Yalow enter the restaurant and look around. I stood up and waved at him to join us. I must have looked like I was trying to communicate with semaphore. He took pity on me and came over to have breakfast.
I have to admit; every time Ben speaks I find myself leaning toward him. At one point I was leaning in so far, I was afraid I was going to fall into his mouth. He was very tolerant and gracious and, fortunately for everyone on planet Earth, enjoys answering questions about science fiction. He is very much a gentleman of the old breed. Talk to this man if you have a chance.
Later, Kacey Ezell was hanging out on one end of the bar. DO NOT FANGIRL! I say again, DO NOT FANGIRL!
I have admired Kacey Ezell ever since I saw her short story published in an anthology called Citizens. It mostly had to do with her bio. She was still active duty at the time and reading it made me think, "you mean, I can do this too?" Seems like I blinked my eyes and she had published anthologies with Larry Correia and all kinds of other work going on. My feat of coming off like a total doorknob kept me rooted to the periphery, see above.
Then Lawdog dragged me over by the collar and introduced us. She chatted a while about her short story Naked, and showed me a WWII photograph that the story is based on. Let me just say that Kacey Ezell is as cool a gallon of mint chocolate chip, believe it. I also have to confess I felt a bit awkward typing "Kacey Ezell, Naked" into a search engine later.
As the final day of the con wore on, attendees began to resemble the walking dead in their exhaustion. I was wrecked.
Intern Steve and I noticed David Weber by himself at the bar. We wasted no time and ended up having a drink with him. Let me reiterate, I had drinks with David Weber at a bar and you did not. Your life is poorer for having missed it, I assure you.
Monday
My entire experience at MARSCON can be summed up with Intern Steve's reaction to the following encounter.
Intern Steve and I were walking around the terminal in Norfolk as we waited for our flights to arrive. As we ambled around the area Larry Correia happened to step in front of us.
"Oh, hi guys!"Larry Correia recognized us?
We talked for a bit then Larry said he was on his way to get something to eat and asked if we wanted to get some sandwiches with him. Hell yes we do! To our surprise, Larry even paid for our food. After bringing down the mighty sandwich, Larry hauled his catch over to his wife to feed her. We felt she deserved it and bid Larry farewell.
Intern Steve and I just looked at each other.
"Holy $#@! Larry Correia just bought us breakfast!"
Fantastic report! Thanks for all the great images in my brain, now!
Well? What did you find when you googled me and "naked" together? Anything I should be concerned about? ;)
It was great meeting you!